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I had toy trucks before I had brothers.

Cross-posted from Facebook, as it's likely I'll take it down from there.

This isn’t the first talk here at Geneseo to incite me to write in response to it, but it is the first I’ll publically post.

Ok, so I went to the Ending Gender Stereotypes: A New Path to Full Equality talk, and above all, I'd like to say to those of you that went,

FAAAKYUUUUU.

Yeah you heard me whores. And I mean that literally - whores- as in prostitutes - as in doing something you wouldn't normally for a reward.

What I mean is this. When Riki asked anyone who was here for credit to raise their hands, no one did, and you know what, you were damn lying. Every one of you that is getting a GOLD certificate or a Xerox certificate or even just extra credit, none of you had the balls to raise your damn hand, because you didn't ant Riki to dislike you. There’s this saying, where part of it is “You can’t please all the people all of the time.”, which is what you’re trying to do. Grow up and take a stance for once. People are going to dislike or like you regardless of how much ass-kissing you do in your lifetime. All of you who are getting a certificate out of this are probably going to use it later on, in a resume or otherwise, to make yourself look good.

I'm tired of papers defining some as better than others, as though a person can just be summed up. My brothers are intelligent, but most people wouldn't see beyond their addiction to video games and lack of interest in school, because obviously if they're not collecting those A's, they must be stupid. I refuse to just collect all these goodness badges, so that later on I can be defined as good instead of bad. All of us have our many facets. You just choose to document your "good" ones. Whether or not I have little pieces of paper that tell everyone I am good, I am still being judged.

Judging,
judging,
judging.

It's something everybody does all the time. Heck, I'm doing it now. I am through with being judged. So if I come up with papers that judge me good, you're going to overlook my other traits? No, as soon as you see that I'm a nineteen year-old (which, obviously, makes me an adult) and I still play with dolls, you'll judge me bad, because "normal" adults do not have toys.

Just like how I was judged lesbian in my younger years just because I wasn't very feminine and had no sexuality (mind you, I wasn't masculine or interested in girls). I'm tired of being put into your categories by what I don't do, and I'm tired of having to prove that I'm good or normal. So what, that I only recently became interested in boys - honestly, too many girls do that way too early. Just because I didn't waste my Junior/Senior High School career confirming that I was "a girl, interested in boys, with girly interests and mature tastes" doesn't make me less than you. It just means I didn't give a shit about proms, making out, and tube tops. So now I'm still a flippin' weirdo because I don't hang with any crowd and give in and agree with any one group. So I'm not a stellar student, or busy with extracurricular activities, or busying myself with trying to find a potential mate. So I don't drink, or spend all my time in the library. So I don't express myself as an individual to the max.

I wish it was easier for me to just be something. But there will only be one thing that I will always be.

And that is Amelia.

Comments

( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
valorfaerie
Nov. 19th, 2008 10:47 pm (UTC)
And Amelia is fucking cool!
People will look up to you and follow you because of that self awareness once you get into "the real world". Let the cattle be cattle, mooooo.
aijoskobi
Nov. 20th, 2008 04:05 am (UTC)
I wish I was Amelia when I was 19.

I had no fucking clue who I was and it is AMAZING you know who you are at 19. That level of self-awareness is astounding.

You are a totally fucking amazing lady, Ame.

Screw the sheeple who don't play with dolls and care only about credit and certificates. Screw them right in the ear.
mvginny
Nov. 20th, 2008 11:44 pm (UTC)
been there with you all the way...and still on the same side now.

Love ya Ame.
( 3 comments — Leave a comment )

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